Abercrombie blows
KRISTIN LALONDE
Issue date: 12/6/04 Section: Opinion
Yes, Abercrombie blows. So
does Hollister, Aeropostale and
that Von Dutch. Why? Well the
first reason for their sucktastic
nature is their lack of clothes
over size medium. They do
however have several piles of
clothes labeled small, extra
small and bulimic special.
I am a large, German,
catholic, corn-fed chick, so you
could imagine the look on the
cashier’s face when I walk
through the door. Not only do
I have to endure the lame
music being constantly
pumped throughout the store,
but I also have to deal with the
emaciated staff.
They don’t even bother to
ask me if I need any help finding
anything, because they
know I’m going to walk around
until my self-esteem has
reached its lowest point and
then leave.
I do occasionally get the
sales person who asks me if
I’m looking for a hat, some
sunglasses or maybe a gift for
someone else. No, I’m not
looking to buy a $50 hat.
Are you looking for a
punch in the face because I’ve
got it right here and I’ll even
throw in a free ass kicking for
the trouble. Seriously, would
you poke a bear in the woods?
Don’t ask if I want to buy a
hat if your torso is smaller then
my thigh.
Another reason for these
store’s suck value is their overpriced
crap.
Why would you spend $40
on a shirt that makes you look
like a $20 hooker? That’s a
ten-dollar price depreciation!
Why would you further spend
$40 on a retro, thrift style shirt
when you could get an authentic
retro shirt at a thrift store
for five dollars? Probably
because you are a pretentious
tool who would rather spend
forty dollars of your parents’
money on cheaply made
garbage with the words
“Von Dutch” on it then spend
five dollars of your own money
at a thrift store.
Yes it’s your parents money
because if you were a hard
working, contributing member
of society then you would have
bills to spend that money on,
not crap.
Probably by now, some of
you are thinking, “What a jerk.
Where does she get off thinking
she can judge what people
wear?”
Notice the word “opinion”;
you will also notice it above
this article. Every word stated
by me is my opinion; do all my
opinions have to be nice? No
and they often aren’t.
If you don’t like someone’s
opinion, don’t read it, it’s just
that simple.
does Hollister, Aeropostale and
that Von Dutch. Why? Well the
first reason for their sucktastic
nature is their lack of clothes
over size medium. They do
however have several piles of
clothes labeled small, extra
small and bulimic special.
I am a large, German,
catholic, corn-fed chick, so you
could imagine the look on the
cashier’s face when I walk
through the door. Not only do
I have to endure the lame
music being constantly
pumped throughout the store,
but I also have to deal with the
emaciated staff.
They don’t even bother to
ask me if I need any help finding
anything, because they
know I’m going to walk around
until my self-esteem has
reached its lowest point and
then leave.
I do occasionally get the
sales person who asks me if
I’m looking for a hat, some
sunglasses or maybe a gift for
someone else. No, I’m not
looking to buy a $50 hat.
Are you looking for a
punch in the face because I’ve
got it right here and I’ll even
throw in a free ass kicking for
the trouble. Seriously, would
you poke a bear in the woods?
Don’t ask if I want to buy a
hat if your torso is smaller then
my thigh.
Another reason for these
store’s suck value is their overpriced
crap.
Why would you spend $40
on a shirt that makes you look
like a $20 hooker? That’s a
ten-dollar price depreciation!
Why would you further spend
$40 on a retro, thrift style shirt
when you could get an authentic
retro shirt at a thrift store
for five dollars? Probably
because you are a pretentious
tool who would rather spend
forty dollars of your parents’
money on cheaply made
garbage with the words
“Von Dutch” on it then spend
five dollars of your own money
at a thrift store.
Yes it’s your parents money
because if you were a hard
working, contributing member
of society then you would have
bills to spend that money on,
not crap.
Probably by now, some of
you are thinking, “What a jerk.
Where does she get off thinking
she can judge what people
wear?”
Notice the word “opinion”;
you will also notice it above
this article. Every word stated
by me is my opinion; do all my
opinions have to be nice? No
and they often aren’t.
If you don’t like someone’s
opinion, don’t read it, it’s just
that simple.